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When another person is upset or angry, our instinct can be to help them lower their emotional temperature by saying something like, "Just calm down," or, "Relax," or, "Take a breath," or, "Look at the facts." However, saying those things when the other person is in the heat of the moment can have the reverse effect from what we were hoping for.
The reason is simple: People who do not feel heard are not ready to hear solutions.
In this episode, we explore the communication strategy of valence matching, why it works at both a psychological and neurological level, and how it can transform interactions with patients, colleagues, consultants, and loved ones. Finally, we show how a few seconds of emotional attunement can save minutes, or even hours, of unnecessary conflict.
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